Mahatma Gandhi's 'Sach ka Saamna'

I'm addressing this to the "Bigoted Indians"(BI) who are uptight enough to call for a ban of the reality TV show - 'Sach ka Saamna'. I have a valid point against your rhetorical argument. Those who don't have a problem with the show, can skip reading this as you are already quite ahead in the evolutionary scale. I would call you the "Intellectual Indian"(II). Kindly excuse the angry language and tone used in this post as I normally reserve the tone for my other, more informal blog site; it just shows how agitated I am at the hypocrisy of self-appointed moral guardians.

I am reading Gandhiji's autobiography. Since you "Bigoted Indians"(BIs) lack basic general knowledge because of your penchant for ignorance, let me elaborate: 'auto - biography' is a story about a person's life written by the person himself. In his book, Gandhiji has elaborately and truthfully described his sex life with his wife Kasturba Gandhi. He has even admitted to the fact that while even while tending to his dying father, all that his mind could think about was sex with his wife. He has described how he used to force her to have sex with him by waking her up when she was fast asleep. And yes, he has also mentioned how he went to a sex-worker's den once.

Does the above paragraph make you squirm? If it doesn't then you should not have a problem with the show also. If it does, then you should have protested against Gandhiji first. This is because the questions asked in the show appear quite harmless in comparison with what is described in the book. I know why you will not protest if I have properly sized up the typical "Bigoted Indian"(BI).

• The typical BI does not take a lot of risks. He is cowardly. He is also nationalistic. Speaking against the Father of the Nation will make him unpopular against fellow prudes. It is one thing speaking out against liberals as all they can do in retaliation is put up banners. But speaking against Gandhiji requires courage which I'm sure their scrotal sacs don't have.
  
• The reason Gandhiji wrote all this was to point out the fallacies of the regressive Indian Culture: child marriage, male domination, treating women as inferior, etc. The evils of this culture are well-known. However, the Bigoted Indian is comfortable with it. It is the other side which he is not comfortable about - the sexual cravings of a married person for someone other than the spouse: cravings of a woman in particular. He does not want to hear such truths and hence asks for a ban.

I know the show is voyeuristic and will go to any lengths to achieve high TRPs. But if we can tolerate Gandhiji's truths, why can't we do the same for the common man?

Congress Bashing!

Aha! You must be thinking that this bugger has finally come out of his penchant for BJP bashing. You couldn't be more wrong! However, in an effort to give my unbiased evaluation about the party I support and also in an effort to dispel notions that I may be a Congress spokesperson, allow me to point out a few flaws in India's Grand Old Party. Also, in the effort to rap the Congress, if I do some BJP-bashing on the side, kindly excuse me as it is an addiction I can't and don't want to get rid off!

Firstly, Congress is a horribly meek party. Its genuflection to Russia earlier and now to US and Pakistan is shameful. It has also given ample proofs that it has no idea how to handle external as well as internal terrorism. It is not only clueless about how to act on intelligence inputs before a terror strike, it is also clueless about how to handle the situation after the strike. I have great respect for Dr. Manmohan Singh but his reactions to terrorism do not cut ice with me: "I strongly condemn the cowardly attacks." - So?? Also, I believe it must be sending the 500th dossier of evidence to Pakistan for 26/11 strikes in the hope that Pakistan will actually do something about it.

Secondly, the deification of Sonia Gandhi. The unbridled fawning towards Sonia Gandhi by the party workers does not look very pleasant. She may have great political acumen and may have worked very hard for the rise of the party but the pretense in the idolizing can be seen by everyone. Also it would be a pity if she allows only those workers to rise who worship her the most.

Thirdly, votebank politics. Allowing Bangladeshi migrants, overlooking or maybe even supporting their indigenisation and getting them to vote for Congress is a very disturbing act. Reservations are even more disturbing - the policy of getting communities to vote for you by simply creating reservations for them does not really gell well with their claims of being a "Progressive" party.

Fourthly, lack of good orators. The PM has confessed in public that he lacks oratory skills. Apart from Kapil Sibal and Abhishek Manu Singhvi, there is no one in Congress who can counter the rabid and haughty orators of the BJP. Jayanti Natarajan takes hours to make a point while Manish Tiwari only talks what he wants to without any regard to the question asked. In comparison, almost every BJP politician/spokesperson in public view is an overwhelmingly good public speaker.

Fifthly, its inaction and lack of political will. It does nothing to eradicate India's social evils like dowry, sati, etc. It overlooks horrible Congress-led state governments like Maharashtra where farmer suicides are rampant. Its silence over the Panchayat sponsored killing of young elopers in Haryana reeks of the meekness I talked about. I can give many more such examples where it could have acted but didn't due to absolute lethargy and lack of political will.

Sixthly, not seizing the initiative from the opposition. Congress is unable to consolidate on its evergrowing vote base of young voters. It is not vociferous enough to pull the BJP down in the Prof Sabharwal murder case/sham. It foregoes its chance to appear liberal by giving into opposition's demand of banning anything that goes against the regressive version of Indian culture. The youth Congress is bristling with well-deserving candidates who need to get voted in order to get a ticket; it is devoid of people with a criminal record; this is a great alternative to the cadre-based formation of parties like BJP where mostly loud-mouthed bigots have a better chance to move up the ladder; however, it does not market that fact enough.

Unfortunately, this lame, corrupt, foot-in the mouth party still inspires hope to millions who want to see India progress economically as well as socially.

Bharatiya Naari Kismat ki Maari

It sickens me how many Indian men glorify the concept of a cultured, sanskari, Indian woman. They go on with their nauseating concepts of their modesty, family values, simplicity, innocence, propriety and so on. It is ironic how the prudes who speak about these virtues are themselves bereft of any!

They force their wives, sisters, daughters to be meek, clamp down on their freedom, treat them as inferior to themselves, mentally or physically torture them if they do not comply and once these poor women are forced to 'behave' themselves - they start praising their virtues and romanticize on the concept of the graceful, coy, Bharatiya Naari.

Only insecure men will clamp down on the sexuality of women. Unfortunately, most of these men vote which makes MPs and MLAs of India dance to their conservative tunes. Two recent events exemplify my point. First, the banning of Savita Bhabhi's website. I have already written about her in the following blogpost - http://salilkhetani.blogspot.com/2009/07/savita-bhabhi.html . Secondly, now the MPs in parliament have nothing better to do than ask for the ban of the reality television show 'Sach ka Saamna'.

Why do they want this show banned? Because a lady contestant had to admit to the fact that she thought about cheating on her husband! Now this would not be such an issue in other countries, but in India it causes outrage as a woman is not supposed to have such thoughts, only men are allowed such privileges.

I'm not even going to get into the concept of freedom of choice and moral policing! Let me focus on the mindset of the Bharatiya Purush. The typical chauvinistic Bharatiya Purush criticizes 'Western culture' and glorifies the Indian culture because it is very convenient for him. He may extoll the concepts of the bharatiya naari in the sweetest language but the bharatiya naari to me will always remain the suppressed, tortured, soul confined by a hostile society.

Perils of conservative politics

I just saw the movie New York, a very well-made movie. It was about the illegal detainment and brutal torture of innocent Muslim immigrants by the FBI post 9/11. Any liberal ie. a person with a bit of humanity would be disturbed at what they saw. The same person would also question why there are so many supporters in civil society for these methods. The answer is simple - politics of fear and victimhood. The mantra that conservative politicians all over the world live by - instill fear, make ordinary citizens feel like victims of some evil conspiracy and finally instill hope in those people by assuring security so that they vote for you. It goes much further than that, once you have instilled fear in people, they will not question your methods, however brutal they are!

It also seems the FBI consists of frustrated officers who are just waiting for the government to sanction them the rights to sadistic torture. A right wing President and the draconian Patriot Act is all they need to do whatever they may please. For the uninitiated, the Patriot Act was passed just after 9/11 and it gives FBI the right to detain and question any terror suspect and not grant them a lawyer.

Conservative or right wing politics has many more evils than creating an orthodox, bigoted society. One of those evils is extreme nationalism and chauvinism which takes an ugly "us vs them" turn. The other evil is going to any extent to preserve your security. Conservative politicians prefer not to think, at least not in a human way, they just react to a crisis and their reaction causes the suffering and death of plenty of innocents who would have no relation to the crime in question. The people who vote for such politicians justify that by thinking - "At least I am safe!" Also, if you question their methods, your patriotism is questioned in return!

I see hope in USA now that the right wing Republicans are out and the left-liberal Democrats are in. I am annoyed though as Republicans favoured India more but I will reserve my annoyance for another blog.

Let us take the Indian context. I see so many freaking parallels between the conservative parties of the world's most powerful democracy (USA) and the world's largest democracy (India). No prizes for guessing the corresponding party in India. I know, I know, people who regularly read the blog must be thinking, "Oh no, not one more BJP bashing blog." I understand. Even I had promised myself that I won't indulge in BJP bashing for some blogs to come but then it is too tempting now that I've seen the movie.

Consider the Act BJP passed - POTA. Another draconian act which allows it the right to detain any terrorist suspect without any substantial evidence. No prizes also for guessing the community which the BJP intended to target! Let me clarify that I am not against punishment to terrorists, I believe they should be hanged in public view. I am only against harassment to innocents. Had the BJP been in power longer, it could have misused the POTA to target innocent Muslims, brand a large number of them as terrorists and show to us their progress based on the 'amount' of terrorists they have caught. This could have resulted in complete alienation of the community.

The BJP can even shame the Republicans on the amount of fear and victimhood it can inculcate in people. They hope to win elections mainly on that platform.

To conclude, all I'm against is the brutality against innocent people. Case in point - the shameful Godhra incident where a bogey containing kar sevaks was set ablaze by hoodlums who allegedly belong to a minority community. The BJP ruled state machinery then turned a blind eye to the repercussions as a lot of innocent Muslims were killed who had nothing to do with the tragedy. Narendra Modi, the chief minister at that time, is still hailed by many educated, sophisticated and civilized people I know to be India's next Prime Minister. The brainwashing victimization effect of such conservative politics is such that such 'civilized' people turn a blind eye to the fact that innocent people were burnt alive!

I am happy better sense has prevailed in the general elections of 2009 but unhappy that most people in my own Gujarati community still give the thumbs up to such an inhuman brand of politics.

Saffron Hoodlums

94 witnesses, all of them turned hostile. 6 accused caught on camera intimidating Professor Sabharwal. The motives were there, the evidence was there and yet there was no conviction.

Why?

• Because if saffron hoodlums are involved in any crime, witnesses are bullied and threatened until they turn hostile. Case in point, Naru Modi's Gujarat.
• Because Madhya Pradesh is a BJP ruled state, even the police are bullied and threatened until they botch up the evidence.
• Because the forensic evidence material was sent to Naru's Gujarat where it was conveniently messed up.

This is not all, the 6 accused also get VIP treatment in jail.

What should make any civilized person's blood boil is that the lone crusader for justice, Professor Sabharwal's son is asked by ABVP to apologize to the six accused and also is accused of having political ambitions of joining the Congress.

More than the horrendous incident, more than the acquittal, what makes me angry is the self-righteousness maintained by ABVP and the clean chit given to them by the BJP.

The saffron cadres are a threat to peace, liberty and civility of this country. They are never going to be ashamed of their acts because they act first and then justify their acts later.

I only see CNN-IBN taking up the cause of Justice for Professor Sabharwal just like they did in the Jessica Lal case. Why can't other channels do the same?

"Where is the Avidence?"

My friend once recalled a very funny cartoon he saw in a newspaper. It showed Pakistan President Asif Ali Zardari with an outstretched hand which was tainted with someone's blood. The caption below read - "Prove that this is my hand". A very funny yet effective way to showcase Pakistan's mentality.

They are always in need of more evidence or 'avidence' as they put it in their accent. "We would like to co-operate with the Indian government but where is the avidence? We need avidence. Justice is being delayed because we don't have the avidence."

I'm beginning to think that it is not the fault of Pakistani accent and "avidence" maybe has a different meaning from "evidence". No wonder then we are frustrating the Pakistanis by sending them truckloads of evidence when what they actually require is avidence. Chidambaram needs to look up some Urdu dictionary to find the actual meaning of the word.

But seriously, we are also idiots. We keep sending them dossiers of this doggone avidence. I'm sure we are preparing the next batch. There is a metaphor in Gujarati "koniye gur lagaade chhe". It means offering a sweet to someone by sticking it on their elbow asking them lick it away. In case you don't know, it is impossible to lick your own elbow. It is like offering something to a person with the knowledge that he won't be able to get it.

Now stop trying to lick your elbow and read on...

Not only do we live in the hopes of licking our own elbows, but also the minute our minister or diplomat sees a Pakistani counterpart in some foreign summit, he rushes to shake his hand like there is no tomorrow. I'm sure the world laughs at our meekness, behind closed doors.

I am one of the people who voted the UPA government back to power inspite of its security goof-ups. Manmohan Singh needs to do more than just condemn terror attacks. We cannot afford another attack to give us a wake up call.

We now need to give Pakistan some tough evidence of our seriousness. I know I sound naive in expecting that but I'd rather be naive than cynical.

Self-deprecating humour

I got this definition from Wikipedia - "Self-deprecating humor is humor which relies on the observation of something negative about the person delivering it." Simply put, it is joking about your own shortcomings.

I believe it is a great quality to have. The minute you start cracking jokes about yourself, the atmosphere around you eases up a bit. I use it quite often to lighten up a conversation. Also, if you are uptight or have ego issues, it is very difficult to inculcate this quality in yourself. You have to be very secure within yourself to be able to use it effectively.

It can be used to break the ice. When you are trying to get friendly with someone you barely know, humour is a good ice-breaker. It invariably shifts the tone from formal to informal. However, humour is tricky, you wouldn't know what jokes the other person would like or if he/she could get offended. A good solution would be to use self-deprecating humour. This will put the other person also at ease and open up.

Also, if you are talking to someone and feel that he/she is insecure in your presence, crack one or two jokes about your own shortcomings and see how that person opens up to you. It barely happens to me though as people are hardly insecure in my presence. Although I did see a gorilla at a zoo who felt I was slightly better off than him but I think thats about it.

It is also a great tool to disarm somebody. There are always people who look to put others down to make themselves look good. They have various ways of doing so - pointing at you and laughing, patronizing you, etc. Try to laugh at yourself in front of them and they will have no ammunition left. Think about it - How can you point at a person and laugh when he is laughing at himself? I possess a lot of quirks that would tempt these people to point at me and laugh and self-deprecating humour has been my first and successful line of defence.

I am a great admirer of Amitabh Bachchan. Although, one thing about him that annoys me is he is too modest in his interviews. Such political correctness makes me cringe. I believe he is intelligent enough to joke about himself which will achieve 2 objectives - firstly, he will still sound modest and secondly, his repetitive political correctness will disappear.

I repeat, if you have difficulty in joking about yourself, you have ego or security issues.

Voltaire and Homosexuality

Those who know about the French philosopher Voltaire would wonder what does he have to do with homosexuality. My answer is - nothing. It is me who has combined the two to make a point. If you are a right-wing conservative person, you may not understand the point I am making but do give it a shot.

Firstly Voltaire - his famous words that liberal people all over the world live by - "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Conservatives must be scratching their heads after reading this so let me elaborate - This is about the basic human rights of freedom of speech and expression as long as they are not harmful to anyone. It is about being mature enough to disagree with someone and yet allow them their right to opinion and expression. It is about defending that right to the extent that even if someone forcibly clamps down on your opponent's right to expression, you having the fortitude to defend your opponent's right by fighting with someone who may be even agreeing with you on the topic in question. I can't explain any better!

Now coming to homosexuality. The Indian government has recently been mulling about decriminalizing it. Then the High Court has passed a ruling that anything happens within a person's bedroom, if it is consensual, then it is not within the judiciary's or the government's jurisdiction to stop it.

Now I will link the two. Firstly, I hail the authorities for being liberal minded about it. They have safeguarded Freedom of Expression. Secondly, let me clarify my stand on homosexuality - I believe it is a mental disorder, an unnatural thing and gives me the creeps!

And yet I hail the court ruling because my or anybody's else judgement should not intrude with a person's choice of life. Voltaire would have been so proud of me!

Andaz Apna Apna

Andaz Apna Apna (1994) is an iconic movie. It is a pity that it does not rank among the classics. However, if you take a survey of people born between 1975 - 1985 and ask them to rate their top 10 movies, AAA will feature in 90% of the lists. If the lists are consolidated, I will not be surprised if it ranks among the top 3. Unfortunately, the movie released at a wrong time and did not do as well as expected. The 1990s were not known for movies with 3 hours of comedy. Loud and slapstick Johnny Lever antics were used as small comic fillers in most movies. Thank God, he was not a part of the cast of AAA.

I personally have seen movies that are much funnier and better. However, I have to admit that AAA had a quality that made it stand out - the dialogues. If I take a conservative estimate, people in my generation have seen the movie millions of times and remember each and every dialogue by heart. Dialogues like "Teja mai hoon, mark idhar hai", "Galti se mistake ho gaya", etc still live on. It seemed like every verbal exchange was well thought out and written. Credit to Rajkumar Santoshi (screenplay) and Dilip Shukla (dialogue).

Another quality was its characterization complemented by a cast of superb actors. Salman Khan's character Prem was my favourite and my favourite scene was his fight with Crime Master Gogo played by Shakti Kapoor. They don't touch each other and yet act as if they are coming to blows.

The reason I'm writing this is because my friends keep using AAA applications, quizzes or pages in facebook and remember quite a bit of the movie. Purists may disagree but it is a kind of a classic.