Have you ever sat in your office cubicle wondering what to do next? You've done the work you were supposed to do for the day and it is stil 3:00 pm, 3 hours before you can head home. Of course, you can go out for a smoke, or a bite or even make up a fake client call and head home. But how many fake client calls can you make and for how much time can you extend your snack break? Ultimately, there will be a time when you have to sit at your desk and if your seniors are around, appear like you are doing work! It doesn't matter if the senior also has no work, he will still expect you to be busy with something.
I have some suggestions on how to look busy. Mind you, this is not a humourous piece where I make up these suggestions by imagining them. This is what people in real life do. I have worked in 5 different organizations and the following tips are things that I have actually seen people do.
Tip 1: Refresh. (This is one of my favourites. I've actually seen one of my ex-bosses do th
is in front of his boss)
Procedure:
-Sit in front of your PC.
-Right click on your desktop.
-Select the 'Refresh' option.
-Repeat.
Comment: It requires great tenacity to perform this monotonous task over and over again. To a casual observer, it may seem as if your PC is not working properly and you are trying your best to 'refresh' it to normalcy. My ex-boss even used to go the extra mile and shout "Mere PC mein kya problem hai yaar?" when he performed this task.
Tip 2: Stare at your PC. (My lethargic colleague who believed in working 9:00 to 2:00 used to do this).
Procedure:
-Sit in front of your PC.
-Get your head really close to the screen.
-Look angry and stare.
Caution: Remember to blink from time to time.
Comment: This is one of the simplest procedures that even I have practiced from time to time. In order to master it, you have to look really angry or involved so that your boss thinks twice before disturbing you or even standing behind you to see what is on your screen. Do come home and put eye-drops to moisten your eyes again as staring makes them dry.
Tip 3: Click randomly. (Applicable only to laptop users).
Procedure:
- Rotate your laptop to an angle where nobody can see what is on your screen.
- Click your mouse button by moving your mouse around randomly.
Comment: This is better than just staring as clicking goes the extra mile to convince people that you are doing something important. Also, since your screen is out of sight, you don't need to get your head really close to block out what is on it.
Tip 4: Surround yourself with documents.
Procedure:
- Stack your desk with files and folders of various sizes.
- Keep some of them open.
- Look flustered.
Comment: I guess people used this tactic before PCs started being regularly used in offices. I've seen this being implemented by one of our service managers who was in charge of documentation. He used to keep documents spread around on his desk and at the same time play games on his PC.
Tip 5: Rearrange your drawers.
Procedure:
- Empty your top drawer.
- Empty your middle drawer.
- Empty your bottom drawer.
- Put the contents of your top drawer in your bottom drawer.
- Put the contents of your middle drawer in your top drawer.
- Put the contents of your bottom drawer in your middle drawer.
Comment: This one I haven't seen anyone do but still listed it since I do it myself! Yes, I have patented this procedure, it is an original Salil. The added advantage is, while rearranging, you find documents that were missing since a long time.
Tip 6: Fake a headache.
Procedure:
- Look listless.
- Look more listless as time passes.
- Ask your colleagues for a Panjon tablet. Do it loudly to seek attention.
- Ask the pantry guy (loudly) for a glass of water.
- Keep your head down and sleep on your desk.
Comment: 2 of my colleagues used to do this. One of them even used to go to the extent of telling her boss how she is still in office in spite of the discomfort she feels.
Tip 7: Read research reports. (More applicable if you are in the financial services industry).
Procedure:
- Open a 153 page long pdf file explaining stuff like "The trend of forex reserves in India and its current impact on fiscal policy making".
- Do not read it if you do not want to, just make sure you keep scrolling down from time to time. 3 minutes per page is the ideal standard.
Comment: Another procedure patented by me. No boss will object to his subordinate supposedly trying to 'enhance his knowledge'.
Tip 8: Pick a fight with the back office guy.
Procedure:
- Try to remember the last thing you asked someone in the operations department to do and hasn't been done.
- Make a big issue out of it, mark a mail to him and his seniors.
- Wait for him to call you, if he doesn't, then call him up and scream at him at the top of your lungs.
Comment: Don't feel guilty about it as those lethargic, apathetic idiots in the back office do need a doze of abuse from time to time. It will make you look concerned in front of your boss. However, on the downside, even the back office guy might not have much work at a point of time and in order to look busy, might take your case.
Type 9: Play computer games that can be played with one hand.
Procedure:
Case 1: Games that are played with a mouse, eg. Minesweeper, Solitaire.
- Since your right hand will be occupied, use your left hand and place it one finger on the 'Alt' key and the other on the F4 key.
- When your senior appears in the vicinity, use both the keys together to close the game window.
Case 2: Games that are played with a keyboard, eg. stick cricket.
- Use your left hand on the keyboard and the right hand holding the mouse pointer to the 'x' button on the top right corner of the window.
- When your senior appears in the vicinity, click on that button to close the window.
Caution: Do not minimize since well-trained seniors can look at the bottom of your screen and understand what you are upto. Also, in extreme cases, switch off your monitor and make it look like there is a loose connection somewhere.
Comment: This can be frustrating as unsaved games will be lost. However, it is better than blankly staring at your screen, clicking randomly or reading a research report as you actually will not have to 'act' occupied since you will be occupied anyway and appear that way.
Type 10: Doodle.
Procedure:
- Buy a fancy diary.
- Scribble on it, doodle on it, do anything you want on it, just make it look like you are writing your appointments for the week on it.
Comment: Another tactic that may have been used during times when there was no PC. This is my personal favourite.
I guess these tips are more oriented towards sales/marketing people, but I'm sure others can also use them.
I have some suggestions on how to look busy. Mind you, this is not a humourous piece where I make up these suggestions by imagining them. This is what people in real life do. I have worked in 5 different organizations and the following tips are things that I have actually seen people do.
Tip 1: Refresh. (This is one of my favourites. I've actually seen one of my ex-bosses do th
is in front of his boss)Procedure:-Sit in front of your PC.
-Right click on your desktop.
-Select the 'Refresh' option.
-Repeat.
Comment: It requires great tenacity to perform this monotonous task over and over again. To a casual observer, it may seem as if your PC is not working properly and you are trying your best to 'refresh' it to normalcy. My ex-boss even used to go the extra mile and shout "Mere PC mein kya problem hai yaar?" when he performed this task.
Tip 2: Stare at your PC. (My lethargic colleague who believed in working 9:00 to 2:00 used to do this).
Procedure:
-Sit in front of your PC.
-Get your head really close to the screen.
-Look angry and stare.
Caution: Remember to blink from time to time.
Comment: This is one of the simplest procedures that even I have practiced from time to time. In order to master it, you have to look really angry or involved so that your boss thinks twice before disturbing you or even standing behind you to see what is on your screen. Do come home and put eye-drops to moisten your eyes again as staring makes them dry.
Tip 3: Click randomly. (Applicable only to laptop users).
Procedure:
- Rotate your laptop to an angle where nobody can see what is on your screen.
- Click your mouse button by moving your mouse around randomly.
Comment: This is better than just staring as clicking goes the extra mile to convince people that you are doing something important. Also, since your screen is out of sight, you don't need to get your head really close to block out what is on it.
Tip 4: Surround yourself with documents.
Procedure:
- Stack your desk with files and folders of various sizes.
- Keep some of them open.
- Look flustered.
Comment: I guess people used this tactic before PCs started being regularly used in offices. I've seen this being implemented by one of our service managers who was in charge of documentation. He used to keep documents spread around on his desk and at the same time play games on his PC.
Tip 5: Rearrange your drawers.
Procedure:
- Empty your top drawer.
- Empty your middle drawer.
- Empty your bottom drawer.
- Put the contents of your top drawer in your bottom drawer.
- Put the contents of your middle drawer in your top drawer.
- Put the contents of your bottom drawer in your middle drawer.
Comment: This one I haven't seen anyone do but still listed it since I do it myself! Yes, I have patented this procedure, it is an original Salil. The added advantage is, while rearranging, you find documents that were missing since a long time.
Tip 6: Fake a headache.
Procedure:
- Look listless.
- Look more listless as time passes.
- Ask your colleagues for a Panjon tablet. Do it loudly to seek attention.
- Ask the pantry guy (loudly) for a glass of water.
- Keep your head down and sleep on your desk.
Comment: 2 of my colleagues used to do this. One of them even used to go to the extent of telling her boss how she is still in office in spite of the discomfort she feels.
Tip 7: Read research reports. (More applicable if you are in the financial services industry).
Procedure:
- Open a 153 page long pdf file explaining stuff like "The trend of forex reserves in India and its current impact on fiscal policy making".
- Do not read it if you do not want to, just make sure you keep scrolling down from time to time. 3 minutes per page is the ideal standard.
Comment: Another procedure patented by me. No boss will object to his subordinate supposedly trying to 'enhance his knowledge'.
Tip 8: Pick a fight with the back office guy.
Procedure:
- Try to remember the last thing you asked someone in the operations department to do and hasn't been done.
- Make a big issue out of it, mark a mail to him and his seniors.
- Wait for him to call you, if he doesn't, then call him up and scream at him at the top of your lungs.
Comment: Don't feel guilty about it as those lethargic, apathetic idiots in the back office do need a doze of abuse from time to time. It will make you look concerned in front of your boss. However, on the downside, even the back office guy might not have much work at a point of time and in order to look busy, might take your case.
Type 9: Play computer games that can be played with one hand.
Procedure:
Case 1: Games that are played with a mouse, eg. Minesweeper, Solitaire.
- Since your right hand will be occupied, use your left hand and place it one finger on the 'Alt' key and the other on the F4 key.
- When your senior appears in the vicinity, use both the keys together to close the game window.
Case 2: Games that are played with a keyboard, eg. stick cricket.
- Use your left hand on the keyboard and the right hand holding the mouse pointer to the 'x' button on the top right corner of the window.
- When your senior appears in the vicinity, click on that button to close the window.
Caution: Do not minimize since well-trained seniors can look at the bottom of your screen and understand what you are upto. Also, in extreme cases, switch off your monitor and make it look like there is a loose connection somewhere.
Comment: This can be frustrating as unsaved games will be lost. However, it is better than blankly staring at your screen, clicking randomly or reading a research report as you actually will not have to 'act' occupied since you will be occupied anyway and appear that way.
Type 10: Doodle.
Procedure:
- Buy a fancy diary.
- Scribble on it, doodle on it, do anything you want on it, just make it look like you are writing your appointments for the week on it.
Comment: Another tactic that may have been used during times when there was no PC. This is my personal favourite.
I guess these tips are more oriented towards sales/marketing people, but I'm sure others can also use them.
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