Irritants who mean well and Egotistical well-wishers

I'm going to discuss two types of people in this post. I'm sure most of the readers have come across such types of people, some of you may even realize that you fall into one of the two categories. Sometimes, it is hard to deal with such people even though their intentions are noble. Their problem is that they simply do not realize why people do not like them!

Type 1: Irritants who mean well

Almost wherever I have studied or worked, there has always been one over-enthusiastic but kind-hearted person who I have made friends with and regretted later. Such types do not think twice before helping you out, going out of their way to make sure you are doing well, lending you stuff without you asking them, etc. They are people lovers who are pretty genuine in their social interactions. They also do not ask much in return. However, there is a catch. They are extreme bores without a trace of personality or even a sense of humour. Hanging out with them becomes a pain after some time and their habit of always 'being there' starts to nag. Their constant concerns: "how're you doing?", "how's work coming along?", etc. starts bugging you. The more you try to avoid them, the more concerned they become.

I still have no idea how to deal with them. Such types are very sensitive, so I can't be direct with them. There is also no polite way of saying "Mind your own business". Worst of all, they have been so nice to me, that I can't just delete them in my social interactions.

After reading this, I'm sure you must have realized that you too have been acquainted with such people in your lifetime. Advices on how to deal with such people are welcome!

Type 2: Egotistical well-wishers

Have you ever met a relative or a family friend who continuously doles out advice on how things should be done and expects you to nod without saying a word. Let me go a step further, doesn't such a type get offended when you don't heed his/her advice even though the issue does not concern him/her at all? Worst of all, doesn't such a relative speak on your behalf to other people without seeking permission from you?

For such people, acknowledging their advice and thanking them for it is not enough. They follow up until you do exactly what they say and if you refuse, they take it as a personal offence. Asking your permission before they speak on your behalf does not cross their mind. It is their superiority complex or ego that encourages them to do things in the way they seem fit without concern for other people's personal boundaries.

The common mistake that people make when they have such family members is that they brush it off by saying "but he/she means well!".

Now I have some advice on this issue and I won't get offended if you do not heed it: Do not fall into the "but he/she means well!" trap! Confront them if they do things for you without asking or Ignore them if they browbeat their suggestions on you. This is the only way they can be trained to respect personal boundaries even though they may keep thinking "But I meant well!".